Story of a Cloistered Nun

Reviewer: James van Maanen
Rating (out of 5): *** ½ (graded on an "exploitation" curve, of course)

NoShame Video lives up to its name (and then some) with its release of the little-known (on these shores, at least) Story Of A Cloistered Nun, a 1973 Italian variant on sexsploitation by way of nunsploitation and lesbiansploitation. This tarted-up treasure also manages some nifty Jesusploitation, Marysploitation and Godsploitation plus a bit of babysploitation and Spartacusploitation to wrap things up. (I think this is some kind of record.) But who cares: you'll laugh, cry (from laughing too hard) and then howl, as the end credits proclaim that, although the main character in this "true story" (full of sex, sin, bondage and floor-cleaning-via-tongue) dedicated her later life to the poor, she was never named a saint! (The Catholic Church at least got that one right.)

In exploitation films like this, cast and crew often do their best to attain narrative, drive, and a certain performance level. That they fail so utterly is most likely due to the producers' demand for the appearance of some sex & sin every few minutes. Story Of A Cloistered Nun is no exception, so it's best to give up all hope, ye who enter here. Just sit back and ogle the nun babes. There are other edifications, among them the especially succulent entryways into the DVD provided by No Shame with tongue firmly in cheek (when it's not licking the floor, of course).

The "Special Features" offer 30-plus-years-later interviews with lead actress Eleonora Giorgi, who seems intelligent and full of interesting comments, and actor Umberto Orsini, who's full of himself. Orsini talks about this "classic" film as though it were something by Shakespeare and his role (about as deep as a quarter-inch puddle) as infinitely rich and multi-layered. He also appears bizarrely homophobic for someone in his profession. Alert for Suzy Kendall lovers ("Fraulein Doktor"): She's one of the "stars" here, along with the ever-not-quite-memorable Catherine Spaak. And speaking of the marvelous "Fraulein Doktor," when will some enterprising DVD supplier - Criterion, No Shame, Facets? - grace us with more work by Italian filmmaker Alberto Lattuada? If Valerio Zurlini deserved his recent renaissance, then Lattuada is definitely overdue.